


Nightmare

by traitorsinlove



Series: For The Love of Bellarke [4]
Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: F/M, Hurt/Comfort, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-20
Updated: 2017-04-20
Packaged: 2018-10-21 05:54:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 964
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10679070
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/traitorsinlove/pseuds/traitorsinlove





	Nightmare

**Bellamy.**

_The teenagers danced in circles around the room. I could see O from across the room, laughing as she spun with her arms outstretched._

_And then the sirens went off._

_Immediately, there was a moans from the kids—their fun being ruined for the night._

_I crossed the room to O, her frantic eyes searching for me. Then Chunway was standing before me. I knew how this went down—I had been here before._

_O sprang from her place behind me, only to be caught by two guards._

_And then she was gone._

_I watched in despair as the guard drug my little sister away. I stood there in shock, completely mortified that I had let her get caught. It was_ my _fault._

_I closed my eyes and felt hot tears run down my face._

_When I opened them again, the brightly lit hall of the Ark was changing—morphing and twisting. The windows overlooking the Earth below changed as I watched. Then there were computer screens._

_Clarke stood before me, the radio in her hand as she threatened to radiate Level 5. Cage refused._

_I saw her move to the lever that would kill them all. I knew I couldn’t let her do that on her own; she would never recover from this if she bore all of the guilt._

_I stepped forward and gently placed my hand on hers. I looked over into her bright blue eyes, knowing there was no other choice. They had our people. We were leaders. We had to do this, we had to do it now, and had to do it together._

_We watched the screen that showed the citizens in Level 5 as we slowly pulled the lever down._

_Guilt clouded my brain. I couldn’t even imagine the emotions that were running through Clarke’s mind. After killing Finn, she shouldn’t have had to make these kinds of decisions—she shouldn’t have to decide who died, why, and when._

_Then their faces came out of the screens. Men, women, children… Every single person of every age. I saw their faces. They clouded my brain and vision. Then their mouths were moving._

_It was like the hallucinations I experienced after eating those nuts._

_“Murderer…” They chanted in unison repeatedly._

_“No, no, no!” My voice grew in strength until I screamed my last word._

I jerked awake, feeling Clarke’s hand on my arm. Her blue eyes shone with worry in the dark tent.

“I’m alright.” I murmured, still trying to catch my breath. I could feel the sheen layer of sweat that coated my chest.

“Are you sure?” She asked gently. I had been there for her through her nightmares, but this was the first one I had had since Mount Weather nearly a year ago.

“Yeah, Princess.” I gave her a small smile as I slid back down under the blankets and wrapped my arms around Clarke.

I felt her skeptical eyes on me before she snuggled into my side.

“As long as you’re sure, Bell.” Clarke sighed against my chest.

I pressed a gentle kiss to her temple and felt her relax in my arms. Within minutes, she was sound asleep again, but I couldn’t get the pictures out of my head.

The guilt seemed to completely blow me away. I had struggled at first—I wasn’t a killer by nature. It had taken so much for me to pull that lever. I didn’t understand why now. Why did those dark memories have to resurface now?

I didn’t realize I was crying until I felt Clarke’s hand cup my face.

“You are _not_ okay, Bellamy.” Her voice swirled with different emotions—love, pity, concern, and understanding.

“I know.” I whispered, blinking the tears away.

“What was it?” She whispered gently.

“O getting taken on the Ark… then it was Mount Weather all over again. It was so real. I felt like it was happening all over again, Clarke.” I whispered, tears once again gathering in my eyes.

“Oh, Bell…” She sighed, sat up, and cradled my face in her hands. “You’re okay… I am right here. Do you hear me? I am right here. And I am never leaving you again. I will always be here. Mount Weather is in the past. I know, believe me, Bell, I know what that guilt feels like. You know that I know—better than anyone else. I love you, Bellamy Blake. The past is exactly that. We have to learn from it and move on. I know that it takes a long time, and it is, by no means, easy. But I am right here,” Her lip quivered as tears streamed down her cheeks.  I gently brushed them away with my thumb. “You’re not a killer Bellamy… You know that. Who we are, and who we need to be to survive are two very different things.”

I sighed, knowing she was right. Hearing my words come back to me hit home, and I know she spoke the truth.

“Do you have any idea what I’d do without you?” I whispered as I tucked her blond hair behind her ear.

She leaned into my touch and smiled softly.

“We’d both be dead by now if it wasn’t for each other.” She looked at me seriously, knowing she was right.

“Yeah, that’s true. That’s one of the reasons I’m in love with you.” I smirked up at her.

“Just one?” She smiled a soft smile.

“Uh huh, I have plenty.” I smiled at the curious glint in her eye.

“Care to share?”

“Only if you will.” I challenged back.

She laid back down and curled into my side as I began to tell pour my heart to the girl that had stolen my heart not long after our landing on Earth.


End file.
